The heating was bust at my brother’s house yesterday. So I made a fire.
I like to put newspaper on the grate, & then little flakes of wood on top. Then little splinters of wood, then little sticks. Then I build a pyramid out of six sticks, and over that I make a pyramid from three logs. Then I light it.
Some people think it's a bit F.O.C.D.U.P. (Fire Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Unlike Pyromania), but when I see those flames, I don't care.
-My unrelenting thoughts of topiary seem to subside & my consciousness is sucked into that fire.
Mickey woke me from my trance by talking in caveman...
"Man make fire"
In a '2001: A Space Odyssey' monkey moment, I said...
(In caveman)
"And fire make man"
So I ask myself the same primal question as my forefather's forefathers may have asked:
"Man make fire, or fire make man?"
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46 comments:
How philosophical Supergrass is...
I used to have a goldfish named Topiary. He died and we replaced him with Lozenge.
You wanna get Keith Flint round there - that's what you wanna do!
I think clothes make man, man look good, man make fire, Britney Spears wear no bloomers.
As long as it keeps you warm and happy, the rest isn't too much of a problem, I guess.
Britany groupie:
I think you may missed a little step.
Clothes make man
Man look good
Woman feel spark
Woman make fire
Woman make dinner
THEN
Man like woman
Woman wear no bloomers
Kate, you sound like a good wife!
What is the amount of sheep that your father demands?
Perhaps after I've combed my hair and convinced you to lick a 9v battery, you can set me on fire and make me a nice dinner afterwards? I will definetely like you then and I have no problems with you not wearing any bloomers!
...
eh...
It's just a thought 8-|
Man read comments
Man like comments.
Man wish peace & goodwill to all man (& woman)
Man like talk like this.
Me 'Underground', you [put your name here].
Man thanks Rob.
Man returns wishes to Rob.
Man wishes same to other readers.
You can't really have one without the other..
woman thinks.
Man make me happy(most of the time)... hehe
fires and floods are for girls too! (as my family know from bitter experience...) happy christmas by the way. i am ok but upset for we have no telly. grr.
isabel
If e.e. cummings had been a caveman maybe he would have posed it like this
" Man make fi r e"
"And fire make man"
soiaskmyselfthesameprimalquestio
nmyforefather'sforefathersmayhave
asked
:
"Man
make
fire,
or
f i re ma ke m an? "
I suppose
I ce make wo-man?
I'm so sick of melting,
I need to be lit
N ice Costa!
Isabel,
I don't intend to be sexist. (In my defence, me caveman)
I reckon that if those cave girls (in their wee little costumes made from wilderbeast hides) hadn't worked out how to grow crops, while the cavemen were out playing/hunting/killing, the human race may now be extinct.
Maybe girlpower grew out of Mother earth’s first garden & reached a pinnacle with the release of the spice girls' first single.
I've no evidence for this. -It’s just a hunch, based on my experience & over-active imagination.
Or, maybe cave girls hunted too?
I just don’t know.- I’m only a keyboard player.
Please humour me & my oversimplified, sexist view of prehistory.
Stephy,
Thanks for sharing e.e.cummings with us. He's new to me.
Robofthejungle. xx
Order: Primate
Genus: Homo { : - o
Species: Homo Musicalis
the spice girls nicked girl power from shampoo (they of "uh-oh, we're in trouble..." fame) and their version involved much funner stuff, like being stroppy and breaking curfews, which was MUCH more my cup of te...rrible alcoholic concoctions at the time.
and i don't think you're sexist, you're just stuck being a man. :oP (haha, sexism can go both ways!)
Did the cave women really run around (Benny Hill style, of course) in those animal hides? Or were they merely invented in book illustrations to shield the eyes of children from the horrors or breasts? Would someone mail Britney some hide, for all our sakes?
As for fire, I think fire make man, and woman. I was such a wannabe pyro when I was teen. We started a good fire in a school playground once. I remember watching with baited breath as my friend threw her asthma inhaler in in the hopes of providing fuel for an explosion. Sadly, nothing happened. The following day, we went back to the school and tried to alight a large round bush that was totally dried out. It was perfectly round and would have made a beautiful fireball. Thankfully, it just wouldn't start because it was about 3 fee from the school building. I daresay my life would be very different today had that fire taken off.
With the blog I just wrote and now this, I've really revealed to myself that I was a teenage idiot. Ugh.
Don't worry Simone: I haven't even started yet!!
Fire always attracted me as a kid and I made loads of them: in bushes, behind clubhouses, while camping. Many guys bragged about it, but it turned out to be me nicking matches from our basement and strike the first one all the time.
Even now we have our annual garden-party the night before Christmas, when we lit a fire, serve glühwein and hot chocolate and gather around the flames with our neighbours in our communal garden.
Telling tough stories, like me and my friends used a spade to throw burning woodbits and charcoal up the chimney of a fireplace. This caused fountains of sparks to squirt out of it's top, which was an amazing sight.
One day a guy was kinda losing himself and tried to create a 'spark-vulcano' from the chimney. Worried neighbours called the volunteer-based firebrigade, who came rushing down the street.
The commander on duty turned out to be the father of the guy causing the sparks. This added badly to the fact he had to leave a house full of visitors, because he was celebrating his 25th wedding anniversary at that moment.
Underground, that's brilliant! That guy must have been in so much trouble! You reminded me of how my dad would always burn rubbish and he was doing it one night and someone called the fire brigade and two whole fire trucks came to our house for nothing. I remember standing outside in my smurf nightie worried that my dad was in trouble. I don't remember much else about it, so I'll have to ask him before his senility advances further.
WigqZhWell, he kind of got away with it by claiming we made him do it and the fact it was @ scouting territory.
He skipped to tell we had the worst reputation in the whole district :)
Thanks for the stories.
Once, when I was about 8, I picked some red berries off a bush, and stuffed them up the jumper of my 'action man', then road over him on my bike.
I thought he was going to look tough & bloodstained, but it just looked like a bloke with squashed berries up his jumper.
That's not really a pyro story but I thought I'd share it anyway.
About 4 years ago, a bunch of us were shooting a short little zombie movie. It was in the basement of one of the buildings at the college I was going to at the time. We used these red colored gel papers, and clipped them to the lights to shade the scene.
So all was well for a good 10 minutes of shooting, and then we started to smell burning plastic. Turns out, one of the gels started to smoke. We all were like, shit this better not set off the smoke detectors. Not even a second later the alarm goes off.
Right after we stopped the gel from smoking, the fire department had arrived. We told them the situation and that there was no real danger anymore, but they still made us evacuate the building. We get upstairs to find all the students and faculty outside, wondering if the building was on fire. It was like the walk of shame for us all.
The worst part was my friend who was directing the film, worked at the college. So he didn't know if his job was in jeopardy. And on top of that, the mayor of the city had come to tape something at the school's studio. So he had to evacuate during taping, as well.
It was quite an eventful day! Luckily my friend didn't lose his job either.
Rob, your berry story is touching. I'm sorry your efforts made your doll look like he had a pie making mishap, rather than a battle. Kelly, your burning gel tale is amazing. The mayor's prescence really tops it off.
The closest thing I had to a school fire was one time I was in the library for study period. I wasn't out smoking for once, but chatting with my friend Daniel at the back of the study area. As I talked, I noticed the room smell like ironing. I thought it was odd, but continued my conversation. A few moments later, the smell grew stronger and everyone in the room was looking toward me. I then realised it was me. I was sitting on the heater and my skirt was burning. Since my favourite band Mr Bungle had a song called 'My Ass Is On Fire', I was able to retell the story with some pride, once I recovered from the initial embarassment.
At school I was part of the 'smoking cave'-incrowd: a bunch of students hanging out in a separate part of the basement, where smoking was allowed.
Besides being teenager, we were busy with music and skipping classes mainly.
One day some of us stuck a collage between some pipes and lit it. The smoke crawled up through the channels of the central heating system and filled all classrooms above.
This was right after another incident when a burning bible was thrown through the area and pages were used to smoke pot. Never seen teachers and principal being more ablaze than after these occasions.
Nowadays the 'smoking cave' has been sealed off.
I was present during the fire alarm moment during the filming of Cannibal Community College. The most eventful moment of the incident for me was the inability of any type of order during a fire alarm moment. In the states during childhood education we a subject to a monthly fire alarm drill. You’d think after twelve years of monthly fire alarm drills five people in their (at the time) early twenties would not panic after an alarm that they knew was not any type of reason to fret. Oh well, chalk that one to pure stupidly.
P.S Kelly is a better actor than me.
Jay, those are my thoughts exactly. We had monthly fire drills in school and we still have them where I work. It's this infernal siren with special flashing lights in case you're deaf but I swear even a deaf person could hear that siren. We should be used to these stupid drills by now but every time we all lose our shit and bolt for the doors, then we stand around bitching in the freezing cold until they let us back inside.
Many, many years ago, in a far away land, there was a strange mysterious place called 'Cardiff University of Cymru'. The locals would play peculiar games, all based on the theme of drinking beer.
One particularly odd game was called Rugby.
It seemed to involve men hugging & wrestling in a muddy field, then noisily arriving at a bar, & showing each other their bare buttocks.
Anyway, these pesky meddling drunken revellers would often set off the fire alarms.
The fire engine would arrive, & we'd all have to assemble outside whilst the building was searched.
Although it was never me, I couldn't stop myself from looking guilty as the firemen scowled at us.
Oh wow, in college I played for the women's rugby team (at the Univ. of Arkansas). It was not the smartest thing I ever did. I was probably the only straight girl on the team and also the only one who weighed less than 200 lbs. What position did you play? I was left lock and we had to tape our ears up so they wouldn't get ripped off. I still have a divet in my shin from a big burly rugby he-woman stepping on me with metal cleats. That and cracking two ribs were the worst I ever got hurt, thank God. There were kegs on the sidelines instead of Gatorade and the parties were total insanity. After the games I'd be so coated in mud my friends wouldn't recognize me. But it was super fun when you weren't getting stepped on by giant lesbians.
I have a fond memory of being at the bottom of the ruck, holding the ball, and biting all the hands grabbing at it. heh
Sorry, enough about me.
Isn't is fascinating how often the most typically homophobic groups (thugish sporting types) end up engaging in some of the gayest behavour? Bum bareing and pressing chests against each other, not to mention all the arse slapping that goes on in sports! What's wrong with a jolly slap on the back? Doesn't have the softness of an arse does it? These pansies will set off the fire alarm, but where's the fire?
I once managed to hit a tennisball at the activating button of the fire alarm. Sole time in my three-year tennis carreer I managed to get the ball somewhere descent.
My best friend's dad later became chairman of the club. With this friend, who happened to be called Bob, I made loads of fires and smoked my first cigarettes.
Ome day I was left at his house, while my parents had to go somewhere and he was sent to bed (at 11 AM) for foul mouthing.
Thirty minutes later he arrived in his underwear, shaking as a leaf: he lit some papers up in his room and burned down the basket he used as a rubbish bin.
I had to bite my lip when he confessed this to his father, as I had instant fantasies of the way things burn down in cartoons: a 'whoosh' and gone.
But Bob's parents were quite strict and somewhat dictatorial (Though never in an untruthfull way), so I didn't dare to laugh at all.
We were 8 back then.
My apartment building almost burned down tonight! I'm not kidding! I was in the bathroom getting ready to go out for dinner when I heard the neighbours talking about a fire. I told Gregg and he went out for a look and a small fire was burning in the empty lot next to our building. Gregg called 911 and the fire department was on it's way. He barely hung up when I heard a loud burst. I went outside to see what it was and found a 5 story tall tree was now ablaze! After I said "Oh fuck!" Gregg came out and then scolded me to get dressed since I was just in my bathrobe. I quickly threw on some clothes and picked up my computer, but by the time we got outside, the fire department was here and the blaze was out! It was very quick! So we watched for a few more minutes and everything seemed to be under control. I would have been more relaxed if I remembered that the fire station is literally a 90 second WALK from here.
So, with everything okay, we proceeded to leave, since we were meeting friends. Onour way out, we stopped and chatted about it with some neighbours who were still watching the firemen. Then, as we exited the building, I saw all this smoke. But the smoke was not from the fire they put out but in the lavendar bush, far, far away from the fire which was at the rear of the building! I thought there would be a fireman by the truck, but there was no-one, so I ran back through and called out the to firemen that there was smoke in the bushes. By the time I got back to it which was about 30 seconds later, the bush was ablaze and growing taller than the two stories in the front! Luckily, the firemen were close behind with the hose and put it out. It would have been a real disaster if we didn't come through when we did because it was so close to the building!
So it's kinda scary because we don't know if there is some crazy arsonist in the neighbourhood, because I don't think there was enough wind to carry any sparks from the first fire to the front.
FUCKING FIREBUGS!
Thought this was Rob's blog?
InTheGround is not my posting btw.
I'm not that black hearted ;-)
Rob doesn't post anymore so we took over.
So Simone, did you find out if it was arson? Or maybe it was brush fires?
I have another fire drill story. Aren't you excited? I knew a guy who went to a bible college in South Carolina. The implications are that the college was super uptight and they had guys and girls in separate dorms. Every time the dorms had a fire drill this guy would strip down, put on a towel and wet his hair, then run outside amidst all the females and say "whoops, I was in the shower." THe authorities haaaated that a nekkid (how we say in the south) guy was roaming amidst the girls. After about ten fire drills where he had been supposedly caught in the shower each time, they caught on.
man make fire man still feel cold
man wear woman man feel good
woman make babies
man make bigger fire next time
Any writer, or rather, every writer I have ever known, has been thrilled when someone else reads what they have written and has something to say about it (whether comment or conversation).
It's like the difference between sex and wanking -- better with more than one participant.
While I would not dream of speaking for Rob, I am sure that most bloggers are hoping for more than silence -- or, to carry my crass metaphor to its conclusion -- the single-handed soliloquy. Try as you might, there is rarely the *surpirse* that another adventurer brings to the endevour.
Thanks Kate -you've captured my sentiment,
Simone- I'm glad you're O.K.
I meant to post that a few days ago but I've been totally preoccupied.
I suppose it is my blog, but I don't think it would exist without comments (witty ramblings).
Maybe it's a bit like that old philosophical question
"If a tree falls in the forrest & nobody hears it...?"
Sometimes, when I don't feel able to post stuff, reading other comments is an inspiration to me.
As my life returns to the routine of talking the kids to school, making music, & eating cheeseburgers all day long, I hope I'll start posting more crap again.
ElHave not connected you lately,sorry,sorry.
I have finished the exam this term.
Now i'm enjoying my long holiday !
Myspace can't be connected here now.Because the earthquake,and other reasons...
I think you're busy these days.
Care your health!
My dad's a total F.O.C.D.U.P. guy.
Simone was in Seattle last weekend and we met up. All because of your blog, Rob
And I discovered that for years I've been dancing, smoking, drinking, chatting and puking on someone's grave!
Read my blog
.....
Hey, Rob!!!
I've been a bit busy around here and I couldn't connect. Hope everything's fine with you... by the way, Happy 2007!
Love from the Brazilian fan
Marianna
wonderfool@gmail.com
haven't seen you about for a while, hope all's well.
isabel
so what's happening Bob? are Supergrass making fire in the studio...any creative sparks sparking at the mo'?
anyways, looking forward to another excellent album in 2007.
Hey, I like your blog, and I missed you during the N. American tour last year.
How...
How, how, how can we let you know how much we want you back, Dear General?
I have so little to offer, but in the spirit of exchange, I hazard this...if you put something new on your blog, I'll put something on mine. Not much of an offer, I know, but not nothing neither....
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