A lot can happen in 4 days.
My idea of gaining control of the Musicians Union now looks unlikely, on the basis that I've never voted, had any position of service, filled out any of the stupid questionnaires they keep sending me, or taken any previous interest whatsoever. Plus there isn't even a Presidential position. It's called a General Secretary apparently.
Some recent posted comments have made me consider my own position.
I realized that I am a sort of Dictator of a small banana (republic).
Only I don't have a whole country's agricultural industry, or natural resources, to be corrupt with.
Ten similarities between a Dodgy Dictator and myself:
1) I make undemocratic decisions for my family - should kids vote on bedtime?
2) I grew two tomatoes this year (from three plants & a growbag)
3) I buy contraband cheap Eastern European cigarettes from a guy who meets me on a local garage forecourt.
4) I'm authoritarian.-No explanation needed.
5) I drive a Vauxhall Omega - No explanation needed
6) I hang around with three 'cronies' most days, and give others the impression we're working hard.
7) I decide what crazy rhetoric I will spiel and when I will spiel it.
8) I spend large amounts of money on credit.
9) I accept payments from a questionable industry, often based on their perception of my power.
10) My kids are constantly looking & testing for weakness so they can overthrow me.
-Actually the kids have been revolting today, in the rebellious sense, of course.
Everyone needs to be a dictator in some way. Right?
But maybe I should be more democratic here.
So what do you think this blog should be more or less? (Does that even make sense?)
Democratic/Communist/Religious Fundamentalist/Emotional/
Honest/Green-fingered/Realistic/Up it's own arse/
Illustrated/Grammatically Correct/Other
Don't worry, I (The General) will not change my mind during the night.
This is, after all, National 'No Rules week' in Britain. Or maybe it's 'Walk your kids to school week', I forget now.
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16 comments:
I think the Vauxhall Omega confirms the "dictator" title. Especially if it is a stretch version and driven by a guy in a peak cap! Unless the driver is Bob of course!
For the love of crumb cake, just be gramatically correct.
ooo. i didn't see this new post while I was writing my response to the last one, so this is outdated and a run-on. (I wrote it offline, because if you try to write more than a couple of sentences in this little box, it times out and you lose your way...which may be a way of telling me that i am writing too much...)
***
good, god, if we get onto our sex lives, the blog will never run cold. (not that I think it will, you understand. I was speaking in the abstract.) although, who would tell the truth (by which i mean, the whole truth and not the edited, buffed- and funnied-up version)? sex is so fabulous and messy and driven and complicated and historical and shut up, kate, they don't want to know what you think. okay, shutting up about that.
notes for dictators:
--get yourself a really, really good consigliere
--encourage them to tell you the truth (without penalty)
--remember that "The Prince" was satirical
--be as fair as you can, but remember that "fair" doesn't always mean you have to do exactly the same thing for every person
--give credit is where it is due
--reward (lavishly/ostentatiously) anyone who SHARES the credit
--reward anyone who owns up to their mistakes (never punish this)
--hold people accountable in as dispassionate a way as possible
--punish people who unfairly ascribe blame (or won't take responsibility for their own errors)
--make sure that loyalty is rewarded and disloyalty punished
--don't be afraid to get rid of bad apples
--tell as much of the truth as you can
--when you cannot tell the whole truth, simply omit what you cannot say
--never lie or, if that isn't possible, lie very, very carefully (and sparingly)
--critique yourself more harshly than you critique anyone else
--listen, listen, listen
--suspend judgement for as long as you can; remember that very few people are unbiased
--accept partial payments (they add up)
--accept partial assistance (it adds up)
--give gifts without strings (otherwise they are not gifts)
--pay handsomely
--give more than you get
--remember that people are out to get you
--guard what you love
--face what you fear
--eat what you want
--say what you like
--drink to excess :)
--go further than you want to
--embrace your failures
--revel in your flaws
--exploit your weaknesses
--remember that fearlessness gets you further
--gather and pay for intelligence
--flaunt what you've got
--find out what makes you happy and DO IT
--trust your instincts
--don't fake it; people can smell it a mile off
--don't listen to any old crap from a mini-dictator like me, I am a paranoid freak and only a mini-dictator (read: middle manager) by accident. what the hell do I know? (actually, I do have a really, really good consigliere, for what it is worth)
There is always the option of being a benevolent dictator. (Although I think Hitler and Mussolini were considered to be benevolent dictators before the real shit went down, so please promise to not take after them in the mass murdering sense.)
I would like to suggest this blog and all blogs to be more up-their-own-arse because it’s just so entertaining. And under your benevolent dictatorship, special privileges should be given to Kate for her stone cold rhyming, and also some privileges given to me for loving Supergrass so goddamn much. The prizes could include, but are not limited to: Hello Kitty sneakers, purple stapler (seriously, have you ever seen one?), cashmoney, gadgets, perceptual maps, dumpster diving with Demps, manila envelopes, Daft Punk on vinyl, assorted sea life, cross-processed photography, a 1982 Mondial Quattrovalvole, last-minute banana modeling, clotted cream, functional architecture, stationery, packet of Minstrels, hot wet baby birds, nature walk, Miller High Life, cashmere, ski equipment, pre-gig rituals, subscription to Cat Fancy, life support, Proenza Schouler couture, an allergic reaction, unique value propositions and a good marketing mix.
Just some ideas.
I just read your bulletin demanding we tell the musician what we think. Well, I only wish you were a member of Linkin Park so I could unload on you after this invitation and tell you you're destroying rock music, but your little outfit is doing quite well for itself, artistically (I hope the mock authority is apparent because that's what I'm going for) so I'll leave it at "Carry on, then."
In regards to music. In regards to the blog, the best blogs are of random thoughts without the intention of appealing to the needs of others. Honesty is the best policy! So other than the request for good grammar, which I stand by, don't listen to us dipshits.
Steph: "hot wet baby birds"? Really?
Rob: Henceforth you will be known as "General Banana". I suggest that you require your children to address you as such after bouts of particular rebelliousness. I also think it behooves you to talk about yourself in the third person when being particularly "Daddy-ish". For example, "General Banana says that you need to go upstairs and clean your teeth right now, or there will be no bedtime story".
Further, I agree with Steph that dictatorial prizes are in order, although I would like to suggest that they are electronic (i.e. fictional), which will save you time and money.
I think Simone's request that you be grammatically correct is admirable, but I worry that it is a HEAVY burden.
As to the edict that we tell you what we think: well, you know what I think. You are as a god -- a rock god. Being a dictator is a step down.
I vote that this blog have emotional green fingers, more up your arse, screwing blogging democracy, with pictures. But that's just me. Very emotional.
Thanks guys,
I wish...I didn't drive a Vauxhall Omega (but I really do!) & I knew the proper way to use a comma. I wish Kate was my consigliere, and I wish I could find the purple stapler that my daughter used to have, but never used.
If I keep believing, who knows what might happen?
Oh my... our comments start to look more like nested blogs..
I have two more things to add:
1) Dictators tend to get shot. Think of your wife and kids Rob... (take the job! they will inherit your royalties anyway)
2)I don't give a sh*beep* what any of you f*beep* musicaholics think. I just want to hear the words from the Master! So get on with the show Rob!
PS: Off-topic: I know of a lead singer in a relatively famous Dutch ban who thinks his fans are ignorant sheep. Now, I do not expect this from a member of a band called Supergrass, but just in case... ignorance is bliss! (my ignorance keeps me from forming an opinion on the sheep part of the earlier statement)
Your comma usage is fine. Your writing style is very conversational and I really enjoy reading it. It's more the people who type like they are writing text messages that I abhor.
First,i just want to know,is there really have a 'No Rules week' or a "Tell a musician what YOU think" week??
I think a musician may not a great man, of course talent is necessary, but must have a passionate heart and ambition, because everyone could get something if he tries his best.
And i like a musician who is curious, honest, and have artistic inspiration.
But i think musician is also ordinary people,no differences
In our country,after all,you know,just have low percentage of young men who like rock music,young rocker still be considered as marginal people.But we have so many people,the total number is magnitude! Many people,like our parents and glassmates think we(who like rock music) are crazy,incomprehensible,but we know what we like ,that's enough.
But sometimes,maybe we would really think we are special,even great. That's stupid,trash!
We are all ordinary,not special,of course we have different personnalities.
PS:i just went to childrenofthemonkeybasket and see those amasing and exiting pics which you took in beijing,they're interesting!
And thanks for you have impression on us,we are the guys which you said "in the distance, passed the uniformed soldiers guarding them, seemed to be enjoying themselves in as unrestrained a fashion as was legally possible".
Thanks for the kindness again! You know is hard for us to watch a UK band which we like,so we must hold the opportunity.
I think maybe we were too exciting when you went to us,there was a little confusion,sorry...
Abhor - To regard with extreme dislike and hostility
Feel the love?
Costa,
Good point, but we have respect for what we try to do. If I thought all people who liked supergrass were 'ignorant sheep' It would be soul destroying.
Elriva,
Thanks for the message. Sadly there isn't as yet a National "No Rules week" or a"Tell a musician...week"
But it really is "walk your kids to school week" Right now!
We seem to have a new sentiment for every week of the year.
Age awareness/Home Cooking/No smoking...Etc.
It's usually anounced as the last story on Monday evening regional news by an affable man called Wesley (I forget his last name).
xx
blogs are about baring your collective bottoms in public for all to see
and waving charred y-fronts about
I agree with Simone honesty is the best policy. Being gramatically correct, is nice too, but being honest in what you write and having a strong voice is the most effective.
In response to her dislike for Linkin Park, I would like to tack on another little musical great called Nickelback. These boys can't write a song to save their lives, and yet somehow America loves them. Why am I not surprised!
I think Kate's on to something with "General Banana" comment
A must have for any dictator is a large, obnoxious moustache, twirled at the ends.
You've got a classic guitar and a restored old car in your garage. You take great delight in growing your own (two) tomatoes out of growbags. You drive a Vauxhall. And I thought your life was so rock n roll! :-)
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