Today, one of my friends claimed they "Wanted to take a crap, but were too tired". This has been making me laugh for quite a while now.
Is there something wrong with me or does anyone else find this amusing?.
I got back home from my stay at the cottage in Normandy yesterday (Where we made Road to Rouen). I'm thinking of writing a summer version of "The Shining".
This time, it's set in France, with the main character (Blade, played by Robert Downey Jnr) starting to lose it on the four hour car journey from Calais, to rural west Normandy.
It begins just off the ferry, with his young son refusing to take a shit in the French style "stand-up" toilets. After nearly running out of diesel in the middle of nowhere, lots of kids screaming in the car & taking the A29 east instead of west, they finally make it to the secluded old cottage.
They find the electricity is out, hence no food/drink/cold beer & four beds must be made up in the dark. The kids then refuse to go to bed & laugh at Blade's attempts at assertive discipline.
The intention to write music just didn't happen (see below for my new song).
All work & no play makes Rob C, a very naughty boy.
All work & no play makes Rob C, a very naughty boy.
All work & no play makes Rob C, a very naughty boy.
All work & no play makes Rob C, a very naughty boy.
(Sing to the tune of the French national anthem)
The only neighbour is a local farmer who drops by to deliver gifts of home made alcohol & duck eggs, and talks French really fast. He's actually quite cool, maybe he could be played by Mel Gibson or possibly even Jack Nicholson.
What d'ya think?
Anyone?
About Me
- Rob
- Life's pretty sweet mostly. I spend my days stoked, doing really gnarly shit. Sometimes shit gets really, really gnarly & I've scored some sick wipeouts, but I just get back on my board, & do something really gnarly.
26 comments:
Is there something wrong with me or does anyone else find this amusing?
I myself have sometimes lain in bed in the morning, my sleepy brain fighting with my bowels. Sleep! Poop! Sleep! Poop! The choice is sometimes difficult.
I do find that shitting thing amusing, though I've never found myself in that position. Like with peeing, there is no choice or being bothered, I just go when I HAVE to. Except on a road trip when you try to make the most of the stops you have.
As for you Shining trip, I sure hope things work out better for the protagonist in your story than poor Jack.
Your summer version has great potential. See what a little creative editing can do? (see link below)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfout_rgPSA
I find that quite amusing and maybe there is something wrong with you/us. What are French stand-up toilets? I've never heard of such!
Are they those little porceline holes in the ground? I first saw one of those in Japan and I was so freaked out and confused, I took my shoes and pants right off to use it. I felt really dumb when I realised that wasn't necessary.
HaHa well it amused me.
Are you sure he didn't mean he was too tired to get up and walk to the toilet?
I mean c'mon you don't have to push that hard =)
this one time...in fact several times i completely lost control of my bodily functions...it was messy....thats the other end of the scale i spose though
On this reality show where Flava Flav tries to find a girlfriend, one of the girls didn't make it to the bathroom and pooped on some steps. I've never watched the show, but on the radio this morning they were recapping last night's episode and played a clip of her saying how she was proud that she'd be known as 'poo girl' as it was original and hadn't been done before. Yikes!
Rob, are you sorry you started this topic? It's certainly devolved.
ha! pooping the the way of life
Mel Gibson as a french neighbour, huh? It might work if he was a crazy french neighbour.. but I don't know, it's your story
do it.
The claim by Rob's friend is indeed amusing.. What effort does it take to relax your lowest circular muscles..
But was this what Rob found amusing? It can not be a coincidence that Rob mentions the notorius French 'stand-up' toilets in 'the French Shining'... Let's not forget that we deal with a twisted astro-physical musicians mind here..
If the claim by Rob's friend was stated while driving on the road to Rouen (away from all the horrors that occurred in the 'lovely' Normandic cottage), then it might not be so funny..
Suppose that you very desperately need to take a crap, pressure at the rectum rises to a max, but you haven't slept all night (because you have been forced to excercise all night, for three nights in a row)..you are very tired.. and what if the nearest toilet was a French stand-up type.. That is not so funny, isn't it? If that was the case, then it would be very inappropriate to find such a cry of despair amusing and naughty Rob should at least have offered to povide his friend with an enema.
I think that anyone who can *elect* to forgo a bowel movement should be SHOT.
Some of us are lucky if we manage a visit to the porcelain throne more than once a week.
i love you bob
you are cool
i miss things
other things i dont miss
like that horrid matty lewis for example
'Only once a week'...?!!? How many times you need to flush then? Or are you eating just a handfull a day??
Have similar experiences with the French toilets, but found out it's less convenient NOT to take a crap.
And even if circumstances were like Costa wrote, I can see some of the humour of it
Wow Robsta! You're gonna play China! Kewl man! Do not forget to share to experience with us! (please)
Once a week. Yep.
And not very much to show for it, either.
I am just a slow...slow...slow processor, I guess.
@ kate
or a very, very, very efficient processor :)
@ kate
Or perhaps you're digestive system excretes it's waste in non solid matter perhaps?
GaZzzzzzzzz
(that crap of Rob's friend really inspired us for some interesting conversation here)
Kate, that's really not healthy. You seriously need more fibre (fiber if you're American). Whole grains and dark green leafy vegetables. Then maybe you can afford to be too tired.
I eat whole grains. I eat leafy veg. I take fibre in a glass from time to time. I have seen more gastroentorologists than I have had hot dinners. [When I went for a barium/film of the gut I had to stay through FOUR changes of staff (shifts) because the barium was moving through me so slowly.] I recently added some med that is supposed to aid peristaltic movement of the lower gut.
And, if I am lucky, I produce malteser-size rabbit turds more than once a week or a couple of conker-sized corkers on a Saturday (when I relax and have a cup of coffee before running around and doing a million things).
I have two theories: i) this is "denser" than the average offering. I come to this conclusion not only because it is so SMALL in relation to my intake, but also because it sinks (sorry for the massive overshare here) or ii) my body just converts it all to storage (i.e. fat) and lets go of as little as possible JUST IN CASE all the food runs out one day.
There. More than anyone ever wanted to know about anyone else's guts/production.
maybe youre like nibbler in futurama who poos rabbit size superconductive space time fuel
(have you ever tried imploding it to see what happens?)
TO COSTA: You may be on to something there. I don't want to burden everyone with more of my biology, so I will leave it at that. (But, to be clear, it's not because I am shy about these things.)
TO ANON: I hadn't made the connection, but now that you point it out, I will bag my small, small offerings and send them to NASA to see if they hae some fuel-related use for them. No, on second thoughts, I will DOUBLE-bag them. They may be precious (only time will tell), but they still smell the same as everyone else's crap.
As to the imploding...I haven't tried that. Is it a supernova kind of thing?
(See, Rob? It LOOKS like we are just farting around, but it all comes back to you and what you are interested in (see references to space).)
speaking of french toilets and shite, check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrhPT5sJLy0
No bobsie (does anybody call you that anymore, If not I'll quit) you are totally not crazy to think hearing your friend say that they were too tired to crap (i'm still giggling my ass off from just reading it. Hopefully he's not getting too tired too often or one of these days he'll have a very unpleasant surprise at a very horible moment when you wouldn't wanna crap, (long bus rides on bus with no toilet installed or durring romancing are two bad moments of timing I can think of but not ever been in such a dilemma personally) Weird how this one revilation had garnered 22 replies. Now just don't sharpen that ax too much okay?!
I think we scared Rob off with our perverted confessions :P
please come back rob
i love and respect you
ive never been able to tell you in person cos it would be weird
i like you
oh man thats funny.
the pooping thing.
it always hapens to me. most of the time i just quit on taking a crap.
Have you ever crapped and vomitted at the same time? Now that's tricky.
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