Thanks for your comments about my crap poem- (I changed it a bit and then Kate made some very wise suggestions-see below). The advice was timely.-Before I received it, I was thinking of getting the poem tattooed across my forehead. Maybe I will get the spiders web across my face instead.
I quite like hardcore tatoos. Maybe it's because I never got one myself. I often like the things that I am not, like: drifters, Labradors, overtly angry people, people who don't give a shit, people who hold responsible positions in the community and females.- (Not like that! I have a girlfriend & children y'know)
Personally, I think the poem will be rediscovered in a hundred years time and hung in the Tate gallery, as a fine example of crap poetry (circa 2006). It might be in their "Crap Arts from a hundred years ago" exhibition and could be displayed between Damien Hirst's "Pickled Sheep" and a big old pile of car parts.
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1 comments:
Rob/Bob/Blade,
Most of your readers are going to look for iambic pentameters or typical italianate rhyming. Like this (7,7,8,8) -- I tried for an even more tradtional scheme (7,7,8,7,), but I also tried to keep as many of your original words as possible:
***
Most rock stars were sweet nerds once.
Tired of label, "worthless ponce".
Free spirits now, or control freaks
Not being real, they're up shit creek.
***
Of course, I only know a few rock stars (rock gods, in fact) and then only at a fair distance, but my own experience is they struggle hard to remain as real as possbile, so I can't comment on the content of your poem.
Kate xx
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